How Do We Defend Ourselves

In what is viewed as a selfish attempt
In truth I guard my fence
I don’t want to let them in
Like a defense mechanism replayed again
Like I’ll be tainted if my walls come down
I’m so guarded, selfish flaw
Genetic perhaps, as my father also walls
Or human nature, my husband too feels the draw
Protection, security or masked sincerity
There’s so much I’ve yet to classify
Why must I feel the need to even try
Discontent, stomach cringe, name these and I’ll remember
Just want to point the finger at some sort of reasoning
So I can live again Selfish grace of sins?
Defense mechanism for sure
Question like that to anyone who’s selfish in love
Selfish for certain reasons, huh?
Because I know people are affected by
my magic marker, I need to have a
defense mechanism, I haunt them